Oh, to be young and know everything the world has to offer. To lack fear of change, or to lack boldness to admit it. This was me at the age of 17 when I graduated high school. I had experienced so much in my small little town of roughly 2,000. I had been a mediocre student with exceptional people skills. I had no money managing skills and little study habits at all. So, who was to think that I couldn't go to Oklahoma State and major in engineering? Just my parents, my sister, my brother, my aunts, my uncles, my coach, etc, etc. Its not that these people lacked faith in my abilities, its just that they knew me too well. Sure, I'd say that I was going to work hard and stay on top of my school work and always go to class but saying and doing are two separate things. High school was but a mere precursor for what college was to offer. And the very first day, although I wouldn't admit it, was a clear cut sign. I walked into an auditorium that held as many people as my entire school system. Talk about a real shocker. I tried convincing myself that it wasn't a very big deal, and to many it is not, however I did not fall under that category. I don't come from a very long line of college graduates, nor of a wealthy family, so my parents were not of much help other than to tell me to work hard. I appreciate everything that they've done and everything that they do but the support that was there for many, just didn't exist for me.
Now that is the end of the woe is Trevor part. Of course a young man in my situation could handle a situation like that. I mean, it happens all of the time. What, with hard work, determination, and a good grasp on the situation people can overcome just about anything. Without all three though, there is an impending doom. Hard work is not something I lack. Well, when it comes to a job, a sport, or to roping. Determination has never necessarily been a problem either, for without determination, hard work is rarely seen. What I lacked was a good grasp on what I was getting myself into when I moved in the first place. I moved to Stillwater with 400 dollars in my bank account, a 300 dollar a month rent payment and a 200 dollar a month truck payment. Oh yeah, and no job. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to do that math. However, I only made a B in Algebra III. But I was certain I could do it. Surely finding gameful employment wouldn't too difficult in that town. That was not the case when I started my search though. It took me a full month to find a job and when I did, it was working at a gas station on the graveyard shift. I would get off work at 7:00 A.M. and go straight to class most of the time. This did not help my already poor study habits nor did it lead to the most exciting social life, which we all know is the most important part of college. It really didn't take too long for me to realize that my situation was not going to work. Only after a month of attempting this I threw in the towel. I admitted to myself that I wasn't prepared and I decided to go to a nearby community college where I ended up having reasonable success. At first I was ashamed of what had happened but as I talked to more people, I realized that my scenario was not uncommon. I am happy where I am now and thankful that I have that experience to draw from.
I've had many lucky streaks as far as college goes, but I've seen this story played out over and over again. If it weren't for my family support, which I know most people don't have and I'm eternally grateful for, I doubt that I would have come as far as I have with my education.
ReplyDeleteTaking some time away and rethinking is always healthier if nothing else. "Failure" in college is never really a failure, because if you ever return you have a better plan, or you've come closer to discovering what is right for you.